Should I Propose To Her At Christmas? Engagement Etiquette Tips
Is the yuletide merriment going to your head? Maybe this is the right time to go down on one knee while festive spirits are up? Here are the five questions to ask yourself first.
You have popped open the champagne (or 'bubbly' as your friends might say), and now you think you should pop the question.
I hope you would never consider proposing on Christmas Day because you have had some dutch courage, but it might be a serious idea you are considering.
If you are thinking of proposing to your beloved this Christmas, then here is my gentleman's etiquette guide to read through before making any big moves.
Four questions you should ask yourself:
Is it just for Christmas?
A proposal is not something you decide because you're feeling festive. You must know first if it's the right time, whether it is Christmas or not. We feel the extra spirit in the air will contribute towards the joy of the moment, and it might, but that's not really the issue. The issue is whether this is the moment at all.
This is certainly not the right moment if this is your answer to her saying, 'Just surprise me!'
Are these sober thoughts?
Not only is an engagement and proposing to her something you decide last minute, but it's also not something you ever decide in your life while under the influence of alcohol. The only thing with you that should be mulled over is the idea itself.
Getting down on one knee to make that very serious proposal - even for the most committed couples - can be daunting.
Love can make you drunk enough. You do not need any dutch courage.
How will she feel?
Firstly, does she want her whole family there? Even if you propose in another room alone, you still have to announce it immediately. Emotions can be high. Engagements can beautifully shock a couple into tears and joy that it takes a week to take it all in. I think that period is one of great intimacy to keep hold of.
Secondly, an audience is not something women will usually ask for, and this moment must be at the right time and place in all respects. Proposing is a profoundly intimate moment; the more private and romantic, the nicer it is.
What's the occasion?
Take some time to figure out whether it is really necessary to propose on Christmas day. Christmas is usually a family day, so ask yourself these questions:
Do we want this to be the highlight of everyone's day?
Do we want Christmas day to be remembered as the day I proposed?
Does it feel right?
You may guess by how I have structured all of the previous questions that I err on the side of no - Christmas is not the best time to propose, and this is my view generally. I think there are many other moments and opportunities to make this act a special one.
However, I hugely favour doing things because it feels like the right thing to do. My advice, though close to Gospel, is for you to consider things for yourself.
I have made a few turbulent decisions that involved other people's advice, despite the fact I went on to do what I wanted to do anyway, and I never regret that.
In short: I do not think Christmas is the best time to propose and that there are better times, but it could still be the right time - that is for you to decide.
