The 6 Rules of Social Kissing (Social Etiquette Guide)
The last two or three years might have put the frighteners on many people to even handshake, let alone give a social kiss. Although it is very customary still to this day in many countries and circles. If you want to know how to give a social kiss without making silly sounds or slobbering all over people - this is the guide for you.
Social kisses are like one level up from a handshake. They convey openness, trust, and almost affection. To get so close to somebody is a clear sign of warmth, but it can get a bit precarious.
Why do people kiss each other on the cheek socially?
It is not very clear the exact period social kissing becomes a living practice. Still, it is highly likely to be the product of religion as Christian and Islamic countries have had this custom for as long as we can trace. Kissing (even on the lips sometimes) is still quite crucial in Arabic countries and is a very deferential and holy act, likewise in Christianity and why St. Paul instructs people in Romans 16:16 to salute each other with a Holy kiss.
Judas kissing Christ by Caravaggio, 1602
People primarily associate the social kiss with France (known as la bise) and other continental European countries, though the number of kisses may vary.
There is too much deviation to capture all the world's various ways of giving a social kiss. Nonetheless, it is still widely done in Britain, and some rules may apply universally.
Here are the six rules you should stick to when socially kissing others.
Rule One: kiss the correct cheek
You want to kiss their right cheek first (in the United Kingdom). It is not a big deal, but if you have in mind that it is the right cheek, you can take the initiative with confidence and lead them through it when faced with somebody who knows nothing about the correct etiquette.
Rule Two: kiss the cheek the correct number of times
How many kisses? One is quite enough for first encounters and in business (if at all). Be prepared for more in other cultures. Many young people today will do two kisses but often because they think that is what they should do.
Rule Three: use humour in awkward moments
If Rule One is abandoned and you both awkwardly go for the same side, that is fine. Use humour to diffuse the awkwardness with something like, 'Ha, how typical!'
Rule Four: don’t actually kiss the other person
Is it an actual kiss? Not really.
It is an air kiss, so technically, there is no cheek-to-cheek contact, but the slightest and briefest contact is perfectly fine.
Melania Trump greeted by President Macron
Rule Five: make it a quiet kiss
There are no sound effects, no big Mwah. It is not an actual kiss (see Rule Four again).
Rule Six: be respectable all-over
A social kiss should take place whilst greeting and not after, but you should read people's signals. If somebody has relatively closed body language or is even of an older generation, it is unlikely they will want to go in for a social kiss.
If you go in for one, ensure your hands are above the waist.
Some people social kiss with hands placed lightly on each other's arms or whilst in mid-handshake.
What about no kissing?
If you do not want to be kissed by others and you sense somebody wants to go in for one, then extending your hand swiftly (but not too quickly) for a handshake will send a clear message. It should not be considered rude because a handshake is still a universal greeting of friendliness and openness.
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