The 10 Most Common Restaurant Etiquette Questions Answered

The key to successful dating or breaking bread with friends beyond simply charisma and conviviality is a good working knowledge of dining customs. Ensuring the utmost charm at the table requires knowledge of some etiquette fundamentals – here they are.

1. After paying the bill, how long should you remain at the table before returning it?

Generally, you'd want to leave no later than around ten minutes after paying the bill. You may prefer to leave immediately, but allowing people to finish any drinks first is more considerate. Other guests may need that table soon, so keeping an eye on where you are and the pace around you is crucial.

2. Should you order more drinks at the table or move to the bar after a meal?

Unless you've block-booked that table or even part of the restaurant for several hours, it's proper to withdraw to the bar area for more drinks, not continue them on the table in a busy restaurant. Abroad in the summer, however, things are usually more relaxed and casual where endless conversation and drinking are the main highlights.

3. What's the proper etiquette if food is late/service is bad (not to tip etc.)

Food being late is usually forgivable if the quality delivers. Bad service much less so, and so the best thing to do is to make your complaint (away from guests) directly and politely. State the problems clearly and succinctly so there is no confusion on what the next steps are for you or for the staff.

4. What’s the correct etiquette for asking hospitality staff to remove service charges?

As awkward as it might feel for some, there is no indirect way to ask this question other than with a neutral-positive tone. If you can carry that one over in words such as, 'Excuse me, would you mind if we have another bill only without the service charges, if that's alright?' or words to that effect, it shouldn't be a problem. First impressions count, so I would suck it up on a first date. If you can't, then go and sort it away from the table so nobody knows.

5. Who should pay the bill on a date, and how should they pay?

The person who initiates the date should pay for the date. In almost all cases, this will be the man anyway (in heterosexual scenarios). The invited guest should also be alright with this and expect it. So, when the server brings over the card machine and asks if it's all on one bill, the paying person can take the lead.

6. What’s the correct etiquette to ask for the bill?

With utter smoothness, which is actually quite easily accomplished. You may ask your guest if there's anything else they'd like, if not, then you can quietly grab the server's attention and ask for the bill. If you cannot get their attention, then getting up and asking someone quickly and discretely is much less embarrassing than waiting for staff to hopefully notice you.

7. What’s the correct seating arrangement at a restaurant, which seat should you offer your partner?

If you are to face each other, then the lady should have the better view. For example, she should sit with her back to the wall facing the restaurant because the man gets to view the lady. In any couple or friendships even, offering that seat would be the nicer thing to do. On an ordinary square table, sitting next to each other on one corner (two sides) is a lovely dynamic for intimate conversation and feels less formal.

8. What’s the correct etiquette around taking photos of food? Is it a no no?

Generally speaking, it's a no no. That is, it looks better and more sophisticated if you don't because what are you actually going to do with the photo? Is it to collect and never look at again, what's the point? Do you post interesting stories of your activities often on social media for others? Then it's more acceptable. In any case, take the photo quickly not too high up in the air and without any flash photography, then move on - enjoy the real thing first.

9. Correct etiquette for excusing yourself to go to the restrooms?

Nobody needs or wants to know about any of your bodily functions. You excuse yourself from the table with the words, 'Excuse me', or similar, and simply go to the loo and return without saying a word more about it. Otherwise, it's bad etiquette to leave during the meal. After the meal is always better.

10. What should you do if you don’t like your date or want to leave the date?

This is why coffee dates are a good first date because they are naturally quite short but can be extended for you to move on elsewhere if all is going well. No date should be long enough that it feels like there's no end in sight. If you don't like the date, this is no justification for bad manners. You should continue the conversation politely and in good faith, but not to lead the other person on. If you wouldn't like to be jilted, then don't do it to others without an extremely good and valid reason.

Final Thoughts

The key to successful dating beyond simply being a fantastic match with someone is smoothness. You want table manners that nobody even notices, the table should be booked and not a spare of the moment, the man should have a plan and a back-up plan with room for spontaneity, you should choose somewhere you like that's great, not something expensive for expensive-sake. Last but not least, the conversation should flow and always feel that it's going forward and most importantly - it's to have fun.