The Perfect Handshake Etiquette Guide - Part One

Firm but fair. Embed that phrase into your mind, not just in life but particularly with handshakes. This article will cover all the do's and don'ts, looking at the good, the bad and the... well, the bad and the ugly are the same.

Here is your etiquette guide to the perfect handshake. In Part I, we will cover the handshake itself, a brief history, and some clear examples.

Why do we shake hands?

The generic theory - a plausible one - is that handshakes came about as a gesture of peace, displaying an open hand as a sign of safety, friendship, and trust.

How far back this goes or when it all began is not known for certain, but we know from ancient stones that this gesture is far older than we might think.

Here King Shalmaneser III of Assyria is depicted shaking hands with a Babylonian on a stone dated to the 9th century B.C.

Historian Michael Zuckerman has suggested that Quakers' handshakes rose to popularity in 18th century America to disband the upper-class bows and 'scrapes', as we might say (2003). An atavistic interpretation would say that the open palm makes clear the lack of weapon held in it, and that's all the origins boil down to.

Nonetheless, this unified gesture is evident in its intention and demonstration throughout history and across the world, one of the most basic universal gestures. Let's dive into some examples of how it's NOT done.

Bad Handshake I: The Three-Way

There's no rush. Unless it's New Year's Eve and the clock has just struck twelve, awkward arm linking is to be avoided.

Bad Handshake II: The Walking Handshake

It's not best practice to shake hands while walking, but holding onto someone's hand after shaking it and continuing to walk is a big no.

Bad Handshake III: The Death Grip

I recall once shaking hands with a Russian employee, who was a lovely guy with a sense of humour, but he was the only person who cracked my own knuckles. I had to go into handshakes with him every time with as strong a grip as possible to not lose a hand. Strange, considering no other Russian man insisted on the death grip.

What is a good handshake?

A good handshake is firm, neither limp nor strong. Okay, how strong is that exactly? Imagine holding an avocado in your palms and squeezing it to test its ripeness.

In Part II we will look more broadly at handshake etiquette and all the general things around such instances that you might be getting wrong but no doubt need to know.